


Unscripted

by Nympha_Alba



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Filming, M/M, Re-kindled relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23990248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nympha_Alba/pseuds/Nympha_Alba
Summary: Colin is directing his first short film. The problem is that he knows Bradley is the best and only actor for the lead role. They haven't spoken for years and Colin is reluctant, but the art is more important than his personal feelings. So he makes the call...
Relationships: Bradley James/Colin Morgan
Comments: 22
Kudos: 100
Collections: Merlin RPF Prompts & Fests





	Unscripted

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to **mrs_leary** for the excellent prompt!
> 
> Disclaimer: This story is purely imaginary. I make no profit from this endeavour, and no disrespect or offence is intended.

Inspiration is overrated.

That's the most important lesson Colin has learned so far. If he sits around waiting for inspiration, he'll be there until Doomsday. No, hard work is the answer. Writing is hard work all the way.

It's strange - and stupid - that he never realised how much work goes into a piece of writing. It's like people thinking acting is easy. Nothing to it at all! You just step in front of the camera and say your lines! Anyone can do that.

Writing is gruelling. There's a lot of introspection, a lot of insecurity and doubt. He wakes up in the middle of the night because he thought of something in his sleep, he wrestles with characters who won't come together; characters who refuse to do what he needs them to do. He wrangles flat-sounding lines and battles clichés. It feels like he's serving his heart up on a plate and hoping people won't stomp on it. In many ways, it's like acting.

But at last he's done it. The script is finished, and when a few people have looked at it and told him it could make a good film, he needs to take the next scary step. Because he wants to direct the film, too.

Colin's never been one to take the easy route.

***

The script is put aside for a few months while Colin does theatre in London, but when that's done, he digs it out and reads it with fresh eyes, expecting to cringe.

It's actually not as bad as he feared. It does need a bit of tweaking, but in all, it's a script that would interest Colin-the-actor.

There's another thing about it, though, that is truly cringe-worthy. Colin hadn't been aware of it when he wrote it, but as he reads it now, it's plain as day: he's written the lead role for Bradley.  
And the more he looks at it, the less he can think of anyone else playing it.

He hasn't talked to Bradley in years.

***

Everything is starting to come together. The project is a low-budget one by necessity, so Colin thanks his lucky stars he knows so many people in the business, people who are kind enough to give him advice and help any way they can. Some will work for him for free. Others agree to let him pay them in instalments. Equipment is borrowed and scrambled together, and locations are found.

There are a few things missing still. One is a starting date for the project. The other is the leading man.

Colin just needs to gather up courage and call.

***

Bradley is all professional charm - warm, humourous, self-deprecating. It bothers Colin a bit. They know each other too well for this kind of well-practised smoothness.

 _This is me_ , Colin wants to say. _You know me_.

But perhaps that's the problem: they know each other too well. Too much history. Too much baggage. Too many times they weren't in sync. 

"So you're writing _and_ directing?" Bradley sounds more like himself now. Less professional small-talk. Unscripted. "I didn't get that at first. That's one hell of a project! I'm intrigued."

He doesn't say "interested". But he also isn't closing the door in Colin's face.

"I'm only putting out feelers here," Colin says and makes a face at his own choice of word. _Feelers?_ He imagines himself as a leering octopus, his gazillion tentacles groping a horrified Bradley. "It's incredibly low-budget and all, and I can't afford to pay you much, but…"

"Send me the script," says Bradley, "and I'll take a look. As for the budget - I realise this may not be your cup of tea, but have you considered crowdfunding? You have tons of fans out there. I'm sure they'd love to support your project."

Colin gives a startled, terrified laugh. That's an option he's certainly never considered, and Bradley's right - it's not Colin's cup of tea. He would hate to be so public about his project. 

"Well," he says, "if _you_ were in the film, maybe some Merlin fans would step up."

"You don't need me - or Merlin. You have plenty of fans of your own." Bradley's grin is audible. "Not too long ago, I heard your name in connection with the phrase _hot journalist_...?"

Colin closes his eyes and groans. "Oh, god."

Bradley's laugh hits the pit of Colin's stomach, the core of his being, his hopeful heart. Like an impromptu, weird anatomy lesson.

"Anyway, lack of money means the shooting schedule will have to be really tight - two weeks, tops, for a 30-minute film. You might have to come back for ADR later. I realise it might not be the most tempting of offers, but..."

"Send me the script," says Bradley again. "Like I said, I'm intrigued."

***

Sometimes Colin wishes he could go back and ADR his own life, add new dialog over old and change the outcome.

In the new version, he'd say yes to Bradley instead of no. At least the second time.

The first time had been in the early _Merlin_ days, when they were shooting Series One and Bradley, obsessed, had followed Colin around with a video camera. Colin had been charmed, flattered, and perhaps not quite as infatuated as Bradley had been but not far from it.

Merlin and Arthur had spent their days together, and Colin and Bradley the nights.

Painfully early one morning, from the depth of the hotel bed, with tousled hair and sleepy eyes, Bradley had suggested they should make it _real_. Not just sex. No skulking around the hotel, giggling. Be together for real. "Let's do this," Bradley had said. "What do you say?"

Colin had said no, he couldn't, and the look on Bradley's face still clutched at Colin's heart.

He'd loved Bradley, he really had, but he'd also been very young and just starting out in the acting world, afraid that if he committed himself to Bradley, they'd stand in the way of each other's careers. And what if it didn't work out, and they still had to work together, maybe for years?

There had still been a kind of off and on, wax and wane thing between them all through _Merlin_. Bradley had repeated his suggestion at the end of it, but once again, Colin had declined. They'd had one last night together before going their separate ways.

If Colin could ADR his own life, that's where it would pivot.

But they're here now, about to work together again, and maybe somewhere deep down, Colin is hoping this will be his second chance - or third, as Fate would have it. That is, if Bradley can find it in him to be that generous. Colin isn't counting on it. He isn't sure he deserves it.

***

Bless Bradley for not leaving Colin to stew in his anxiety. His text comes in less than twenty-four hours.

 _Script is fucking brilliant,_ it says. _Not that I'm surprised! When do we start?_

For a glorious moment, Colin feels like he'll never stop grinning.

***

Colin leans his elbows on top of the dry stone wall, looking out over the sea. He's so high up on the steep cliffs that seagulls are flying past below him, their wings bright in the sun.

It's his third day in Northern Ireland, but his family doesn't know he's here - not yet. He'll go and see them before he heads back to London, but right now he has a week entirely to himself at a Very Secret Place. His friend Aisling's cottage on the north coast, to be more precise.

Colin's days consist of yoga in the morning and a long walk along the sea in the afternoon. Anything in between is filled with prepping. He'll start shooting his film in London next week.

He honestly can't believe his dream is coming true, directing his own film, but at this stage, he's happy it's only a short film. If everything goes well with this one, maybe a feature film is the next step, but it still feels far too daunting. He needs to find his sea legs first.

Right now, his feet in sturdy hiking boots are firmly planted on Northern Irish rock. The wind sweeping through his hair leaves it stiff and gritty with salt. Good thing Aisling's cottage is perfectly good for a shower.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he fishes it out, smiling to himself. _Bradley_. 

Again.

Initially, Colin had planned not to talk to a soul here - that had been kind of the whole idea of his visit here - but he's already talked to Bradley three times. They only talk about the script, but underneath it all, it feels like they're trying to find their way back to each other. Colin might be reading too much into it, though, and it might be purely professional on Bradley's part, but that's fine, too. They've always worked well together, and it's like coming home. The house may have been partly refurbished but is still essentially the same.

"I was wondering about that scene on the roof," Bradley says, his voice warm in Colin's ear as Colin strides back to the cottage. "Is he really planning to jump or is he just a manipulative arse?" 

Colin laughs and nods. "Good question. I'm glad you picked up on that. I meant for it to be ambiguous. Maybe it's not one hundred percent clear to him, either. And if he is a manipulative arse, I'm not sure he's aware of it. Does that make sense?"

They keep discussing it back and forth until Colin is kicking off his boots in the mud room.

"So, how are you feeling?" Bradley asked. "I mean - directorial debut. That's huge."

"Thanks for reminding me," Colin says. "I feel shite at the moment, thanks." They both laugh. "I don't think I've ever been this nervous, to be honest, and that's saying something."

"I can understand that, but you have nothing to worry about. I know you'll be brilliant. You, and the film." A pause. "Thanks for considering me for the role. I've been meaning to say that."

"Well, it wasn't altogether altruistic on my part," Colin says as he fills the kettle under the kitchen tap. "Sorry I'm doing noisy things while on the phone, I hate it when people do that! - I'd have been a bit stranded if you hadn't said yes. I actually wrote the part for you."

There's a long silence at the other end, and Colin holds his breath until Bradley says in a low voice: "Did you?"

"Yeah." Colin's heart is pounding, and he's aware of the contrast between the triteness of putting the kettle on and the enormity of what he wants to say to Bradley. "I wasn't aware while I wrote it, but when I read through the finished script I realised I'd had you in mind all along. I can't imagine anyone else doing it."

"I'm…" Bradley stalls and clears his throat, starts again. "I'm honoured."

Colin is breathing again, reaching up to get a mug from the kitchen cupboard. "I'm really looking forward to working with you again."

"Me too," says Bradley, and Colin is grateful the professional charm is long gone. This is genuine Bradley. "See you in London next week." 

***

Colin is taking to directing like a duck to water. At first he was filled with dread, feeling anything could go horribly wrong at any moment. Three days in, it's pure joy. As much as he loves acting, this is on a different scale.

Directing Bradley and Charlotte isn't a chore, either. It's been easy to slip back into their working relationships again, albeit with different roles and relations, and they keep amazing him with their acting choices, both of them masters of making things look effortless.

"And cut!" he calls. "Okay, let's take this from the beginning again, from when you come in the door, Bradley. Can you be softer this time, more gentle, as if you're more sad than upset? I'd like to see how that plays. And then let's try it with you really angry. We'll look at it together after, see what works best. Take your time to get in the mood."

Bradley walks back to the door, closing his eyes to refocus. Colin waits in silence, unable to take his eyes off him. The professional side of him hopes Bradley will have that same effect on the audience. The private side of him thinks he's falling helplessly in love all over again.

***

"Cut!" Colin calls again after the angry version of the scene. "Let's take ten! - Bradley, come over here and have a look."

He is intensely aware of how close Bradley is. Their shoulders are touching. It's all he can do not to look at Bradley, the real, live Bradley, but watch the screen.

"What do you think? I had originally thought he'd be upset here, the way you played it at first, but now I'm not so sure. I think the sad version is more powerful."

Bradley nods slowly. "I agree. Makes a deeper impression than shouting. It adds a little - I don't know, uncertainty? Nerve, is the word I'm looking for. It adds nerve."

"I think so too," Colin says. 

Bradley doesn't move away. He's still looking at the screen, but something about his position suggests he's as aware of their proximity as Colin is.

Colin wants to reach out and pull Bradley to him, wants to softly lift Bradley's chin and kiss him. Instead he calls to everyone: "Lunch!"

***

It's the last scene, on the last day. The natural light is perfect, sending sparks off Charlotte's red hair and Bradley's blond; shadows stretching long over the concrete. The whole crew is holding their breath as Bradley and Charlotte absolutely nail their last dialogue.

A bird flies up, and both actors turn their heads and watch it soar away against the sky, white wings tinged pink by the fading light. They turn towards each other with a soft, slow smile, unscripted, perfect.

There are tears in Colin's eyes. "Cut! Fan _tas_ tic!"

Spontaneous applause from the crew; smiles from Bradley and Charlotte. Of course they know it was a perfect scene; they could feel it.

Colin runs up and hugs them, one arm around each. "You're absolutely fucking brilliant, the both of you." He shakes them a little. "That was amazing. I can't imagine a better final scene, and you just did it in a single take." He kisses Charlotte on the forehead. Quickly, not to lose courage, he cups his hand around the back of Bradley's head and pulls it down so he can kiss Bradley on the forehead too.

He wants to go on feeling like this forever.

***

The wrap party has only just got going when Bradley comes up to Colin, clinks his glass against Colin's and says: "Nice surprise yesterday."

Those first few sips of G&T have already given Colin a nice buzz. Or it might be Bradley's presence.

"Oh, the bird," he says innocently. "Yeah, that was perfect."

Bradley laughs, head thrown back, and Colin watches over the rim of his glass. At this moment, anything is possible. With a bit of luck, that "no" from years ago could be turned into a "yes". 

"Thanks for doing this," he says. "I knew you'd be perfect for the role."

"Well, if it was written for me..." Bradley's fingers are playing with the stem of his wine glass, sending sparks down Colin's spine. "But there's one thing that could have made your film even better."

Colin raises his eyebrows. He hadn't expected Bradley to offer criticism - not at this point. "Yeah?"

A cautious smile pulls one corner of Bradley's mouth up. "Brilliant as Charlotte is, I think you should have played her role yourself."

Colin blinks, at a loss for a reply, because Bradley is right. If Colin had really wanted to be true to himself, he should have done exactly that.

"Sorry," says Bradley quickly. "That was out of line."

Colin shakes his head. "No, it wasn't. You're right. I don't know why that didn't even occur to me."

Holding Colin's gaze, Bradley says: "We work well together. I'd really like to work with you again, if the opportunity arises. Maybe in your next project?"

Colin's heart is erratic. He isn't sure Bradley is asking more than he's actually saying, but that's how it feels. "Definitely." His face is warm and he can't hold back a smile. "You'll definitely be my leading man again." He nods sideways towards the terrace doors. "Get some air?"

Out on the terrace, under the dark sky with all of London glittering below, Colin puts his glass down and faces Bradley. The look in Bradley's eyes is indescribable. 

"If I take your old question from back then," Colin says, pausing to see if Bradley is with him, "if I do, and ask it back to you - what would you answer?" 

"I would… it would… well, _are_ you? Are you asking?"

"Yeah," Colin says with the beginning of a smile, "I am. I'm sorry we weren't on the same page back then. I thought maybe… maybe the timing's better now."

Very deliberately, Bradley puts his glass away, too. He doesn't say anything, only looks at Colin.

Colin swallows. "I'm going to kiss you."

Bradley's mouth quirks. "About bloody time."

The kiss is new and familiar all at once, tongues finding each other, Colin's hands cupping Bradley's face, Bradley's fingers finding Colin's waist. It's both an end and a beginning.

"My next project," he murmurs against Bradley's throat.

"Yes?"

He lifts his head and flicks his tongue at Bradley's earlobe, making him gasp. "Maybe my next project… won't be my project at all, but ours. How would you feel about that?"

He feels Bradley's arms tighten around him. 

"I'd be on board with that." And again, with a smile in his voice: "I'm so on board with that."

"Good," Colin breathes, and kisses Bradley again.


End file.
